I don’t know about you, but it seems like everyone I know wants more out of their sex life but doesn’t quite know how to go about making it happen. I caught the Oprah Winfrey show the other day and Dr. Laura Berman, Sex Therapist, was on there and she had some great advice! She explained her step by step plan to help couples “Live their best sex life.” Check out Oprah’s site for all the details, but basically it comes down to for simple steps:

• Tell the Truth
• Ask for what you want
• Let Go of Negative Messages
• See Your Doctor

Like with most things in life, achieving and or sustaining great sex takes communication and work, but I know that the closeness you and your partner experience as a result can be priceless! If you are looking for that little “extra something” to add excitement, check out what Dr. Berman came up with. She worked with a team of women to create adult toys and sexual health products for women.

The difference between a clitoral and vaginal orgasm is where you are being stimulated to achieve orgasm, not where you feel the orgasm. The clitoris has a central role in elevating feelings of sexual tension. During sexual excitement, the clitoris swells and changes position. The blood vessels through the whole pelvic area also swell, causing engorgement and creating a feeling of fullness and sexual sensitivity. Your inner vaginal lips swell and change shape. Your vagina balloons upward and your uterus shifts position in your pelvis.

For some women, the outer third of their vagina and the cervix are also very sensitive or even more sensitive than the clitoris. When stimulated during intercourse or other vaginal penetration, these women do have intense orgasms. This would be what is referred to as a vaginal orgasm without clitoral stimulation.

In reality, orgasms are a very individual experience and there is no one correct pattern of sexual response. Whatever feels good to you, makes you feel alive and happy, and connected with your partner is what matters.

Traditionally, “foreplay” was considered to be something that a man had to do to get his partner ready for sexual intercourse. Today, foreplay has become an integral part of the whole lovemaking experience. It is true that impromptu sexual encounters without foreplay can sometimes be some of the best sexual experiences, but in general, most women will agree that good sexual encounters mean that you learn the importance of foreplay. A more vigilant form of foreplay will bring increased pleasure to both partners, and make the whole lovemaking experience more enjoyable.

Spice up your sex life

Especially with age, both partners will need a little extra spice to get fully aroused and achieve maximum pleasure. Hence you need to learn the importance of foreplay. The man will need to prolong foreplay to get an erection and the woman will need the same to become properly lubricated. Most sex experts agree that there is no such thing as spending too much time on foreplay. The trick is to start intercourse when both partners are peaking with excitement and are having a hard time controlling their desires.

What is foreplay?

You’ve gotta learn the importance of foreplay, which can encompass a wide range of activities, including hugging, fondling, undressing, kissing, petting, and performing oral sex. Why is foreplay so important? First of all, men who cuddle and kiss their partners and know how to enjoy sensitive foreplay will often find that their partners will not only enjoy sexual intercourse more, but will also see their partners reach orgasm more easily. Most women need prolonged stimulation in order to reach a state of complete arousal, and foreplay will provide them with the required stimulation.

No ultimate foreplay

There is no such thing as the ultimate foreplay, and it is not about pressing the right buttons in the right order. It is about understanding what makes your partner get hot and delivering the things that make her experience intense pleasure. All women are different. Some get off on being lightly kissed all over their necks while others enjoy direct oral stimulation.

There are many ways to give your partner extreme sensations, but one thing is for sure: It all begins in her brain. Simply tell her how beautiful she is and how much you appreciate her sexy body. By complimenting her appearance, especially if her confidence level is low, you are giving her added security and excitement, as well as giving her good reasons to go all out with the foreplay.

Set the mood

To learn the importance of foreplay you have to know how to set the mood. The next step is paying attention to romantic details. Creating the right environment for sexual intercourse can be crucial, especially at mature stages in the relationship. For example, make sure the room is warm, the lighting subdued, and the sheets clean. Once the mood is right, take the time to undress her because the act of removing your partner’s clothes can be an important part of foreplay. Many have found that undressing increases the eroticism, it stimulates and intensifies the feeling.

Often, women spend a lot of money on nice lingerie because it makes them feel sexy and they want it to stay on for a while. Instead of getting her completely naked, remove her bra strap, kiss her shoulder, then put it back on again. Do the same with her underwear, and, again; compliment how good she looks in it.

Kissing and foreplay

During foreplay, go as slow as you can. This will tease her. Begin by kissing and caressing her. A kiss is usually the first physical expression of desire but it is also often forgotten during sexual intercourse. During intercourse, you should kiss every part of your partner’s body and not be restricted to the mouth. Most women complain that their partners don’t kiss long enough and rush the movement directly to the genital area. Don’t be shy to experiment on every part of her body and remember to prolong the foreplay with more kissing and caressing.

A good time for learning

This article focused on the importance of foreplay as it is a learning experience. Foreplay is the perfect time to spend understanding what your partner likes because without that, you will never learn what she really needs to be fully stimulated. Don’t be shy; ask for feedback and also give your own. Both partners profit from good communication during foreplay and lovemaking. Also, without cutting the intensity of the moment, ask her what she really likes and what makes her go wild.

The time of her life

As a general rule, if she is satisfied with her sexual experience, she will usually make sure that you are satisfied as well. Good luck, and remember that only practice makes perfect. Don’t ever forget the importance of foreplay.

By David Strovny

There are many diets out there but have you heard of the sex diet?

Foods that are healthy for your heart are also good for your libido. If your arteries are clogged, there is no way the blood will flow to your penis or vagina.

Oysters are a well-known aphrodisiac because oysters contain zinc which increases libido. One oyster has the daily recommended dose of zinc so you can only imagine what a plate of them can do. If you don’t like Oysters then you can get zinc from any source of protein. Protein is essential for producing sperm in men. Some foods that are high in zinc are turkey, beef, beans, and pine nuts.

Pine nuts, out of all the nuts, have the most amount of protein and they are full of healthful mono-saturated fats which helps lower your bad cholesterol.

There are some veggies that are good for your sex drive too. Asparagus contains foliate which is necessary for histamine production and histamine is necessary for both males and females to reach orgasm. Other vegetables are artichokes and avocados.

There are also some spices that are great. Chili pepper and ginger help to improve circulation. Hot spices like cayenne, curry and cumin help warm things up.

Some foods that are good for your heart and good for your libido include red wine and champagne. Too much alcohol can have an adverse effect and actually decrease sexual potency.
Chocolate is known to release serotonin in your brain, which provides a calming soothing effect so that sort of gets you in the mood. But the sugar also gets you heart going because it increases your serum glucose levels so you feel a rush of energy.

Remember that sex is neither a marathon nor a contest. That being said, it’s nice to know you can hold up your end when required. Here are a few handy pointers:

Cholesterol clogs the arteries including the ones in your penis. When you’re aroused, your penis can hold up to ten times as much blood as normal, so any obstruction of the arteries feeding it will become apparent in its tumescence - or lack thereof. Help keep these passages clear of detritus by eating plenty of oats and oat bran, which you can sprinkle on anything.

B complex sounds like an instruction from a Hollywood therapist, but it’s the catchall phrase for three vitamins, thiamin, riboflavin and niacin. The first two help your body produce energy when you need it. Niacin helps your blood vessels dilate, allowing your heart to rev up and go for broke when it needs to. It also helps your body produce testosterone. To get enough, pop some multivitamins, and eat plenty of beans, peas, asparagus, bananas and raw nuts. Watch out for the fattening oils in nuts, especially Macadamias.

Zinc to the rescue: It’s good to knock back a couple of vitamin supplements each day, but for its effect on libido and fertility, nothing beats zinc. It’s easy to obtain, but it goes as fast as it comes. One doctor estimated that you lose up to five milligrams of zinc each time you ejaculate. An oyster has enough zinc to keep you going for the day. For those of us who think oysters look like the contents of a toddler’s nose, you can buy innocuous little zinc tablets at any health shop or pharmacy.

Calcium does the trick: Here’s one more mineral you’ll need - calcium. All your muscles need calcium. Yoghurt, dairy products, dark green veggies, breads and fish, especially tinned sardines, have plenty of calcium. So do the pills marked ‘calcium’ at the pharmacy.
Keep in mind that stress is a libido’s biggest downer.