Sex after the Change
posted in Menopause |It’s just what you’ve always wanted: all those years of having cramps, weird food cravings, back pain, and crabbiness every single month are finally behind you. But you didn’t ask for the symptoms that come with the downside of menopause, which can often include a decrease in your sex drive. Take heart, though; no one’s telling you to say goodbye to great sex forever! Here’s the lowdown on what really happens during the Change – and why it might just be the best thing that’s ever happened to your love life.
Most American women experience menopause at around 51, and some experience symptoms of menopause well before their last period – even years beforehand. These can include irregular bleeding, those infamous hot flashes, mood changes, insomnia, depression, incontinence, cognitive changes such as problems with attention and memory, and sexual changes like vaginal dryness, an increase in yeast infections, and lack of interest in sex.
That’s the bad news. But here’s the upside: Chances are you have years of fantastic sex to look forward to. “Seventy percent of couples at the age of 70 are sexually active,” says ob/gyn Dr. John McMurry of Spencer, West Virginia. Sure, women’s – as well as men’s – sexual responses change as they age, often around menopause, but these can be positive changes. Why? According to Dr. McMurry, there are a few reasons. Some women actually report an increase in desire during midlife or around menopause, while men of the same age have probably gained greater control over ejaculation, allowing them to last longer in bed. Also, couples tend to communicate better with one another, and are comfortable enough with each other to experiment with sex without feeling silly. And Dr. McMurry is quick to point out that, at any age, “the best foundation for a healthy sex life is a strong, loving relationship with your partner.”
But what if the symptoms of menopause are taking a toll on your sex life? You don’t just have to grin and bear it. Talk to your doctor about these non-prescription treatments:
·Zestra. Similar to lube, Zestra is a hormone-free, drug-free oil that you massage onto your clitoris and vagina just before sex. It creates a gentle warmth that helps you get aroused and stay aroused. Available at bettersex.com.
·Eros therapy device. Placing the device’s soft “cup” over your clit and vagina, creates a vacuum that encourages blood flow to the entire area, which increases sensitivity, helps you stay lubricated, and lets you reach orgasm more easily.
·Olive oil or vitamin E vaginal suppositories. Both olive oil and vitamin E increase sensitivity. Be careful, though; oil and condoms don’t mix!
Some prescription medications may also ease your symptoms. Ask your doctor about:
Hormone replacement therapy (HRT). Dr McMurry suggests using estrogen vaginally, so the hormone doesn’t circulate throughout your system.
Testosterone
Changing certain antidepressants and blood-pressure medications, if you take these medications regularly.
At the end of the day, though, sizzling sex happens when two people enjoy pleasuring each other! Check out these books and websites for more information on sex and menopause:
Sex Over 50 by Joel D. Block and Susan Crain Bakos (Reward Books: New York, NY, 1999)
Website for the American Society of Obstetricians and Gynecologists, http://www.acog.org
Website for the North American Menopause Society, http://www.menopause.org.
