1. Sex Toys Make Some Things Easier

It’s easier for many women to orgasm with a vibrator, it’s easier for women to get clitoral stimulation during intercourse with a vibrator, it’s easier to reach the G-Spot and the prostate with a sex toy, it’s easier to prolong an erection with a sex toy ~ the list could go on and on. The beauty of making things easier during sex is that you can sit back and enjoy the ride. Instead of worrying about whether you’re going to come or if you’re going to come too soon, you can relax and focus solely on the pleasure at hand.

2. Sex Toys Help You Break Out of a Routine

Do you require a certain stroke to masturbate, a particular position to orgasm, or a just-so lick during oral sex? Sex toys can expand your range, offering certain types of stimulation that hands or tongues can’t. A penis sleeve might tickle your fancy, a strap on vibrator might free you up to try different intercourse positions, or a small vibrator might add a delightful extra buzz to your next blow job. Think of sex toys as adding more entrees to an ever-expanding sexual buffet.

3. Sex Toys Inspire Sexual Confidence

By picking up a sex toy and pressing it to your genitals, you are taking responsibility for your sexual needs and desires. In a culture where we learn very little about sexual pleasure, this act alone is impressive. Rather than waiting passively for someone to fulfill all your sexual needs, you take matters into your own hands. As a result, you learn more about your sexuality, you gain greater self-confidence and expertise, and you’re more likely to have satisfying sexual encounters in the future.

4. Sex Toys Spice Up Partner Sex

Sex toys actually enhance partner sex play by enabling you do certain things you might not otherwise be able to ~ whether it’s a vibrator adding just the right clitoral stimulation during intercourse, or a butt plug that makes coming from prostate stimulation possible.

5. Sex Toys Make the Mood

You’ll discover that certain types of sex play beg for some sex toy accessories. That back caress may feel even better when it’s given with a warm oil, that kiss may resonate even more deeply if your hands are tied to the bed posts, and that cyber fling might short circuit your computer if you’re wearing a vibrator. Adding sex toys can incite your imagination and lend just the right spark of adventure to your love life.

Excerpted from The Many Joys of Sex Toys by Anne Semans.

Traditionally, “foreplay” was considered to be something that a man had to do to get his partner ready for sexual intercourse. Today, foreplay has become an integral part of the whole lovemaking experience. It is true that impromptu sexual encounters without foreplay can sometimes be some of the best sexual experiences, but in general, most women will agree that good sexual encounters mean that you learn the importance of foreplay. A more vigilant form of foreplay will bring increased pleasure to both partners, and make the whole lovemaking experience more enjoyable.

Spice up your sex life

Especially with age, both partners will need a little extra spice to get fully aroused and achieve maximum pleasure. Hence you need to learn the importance of foreplay. The man will need to prolong foreplay to get an erection and the woman will need the same to become properly lubricated. Most sex experts agree that there is no such thing as spending too much time on foreplay. The trick is to start intercourse when both partners are peaking with excitement and are having a hard time controlling their desires.

What is foreplay?

You’ve gotta learn the importance of foreplay, which can encompass a wide range of activities, including hugging, fondling, undressing, kissing, petting, and performing oral sex. Why is foreplay so important? First of all, men who cuddle and kiss their partners and know how to enjoy sensitive foreplay will often find that their partners will not only enjoy sexual intercourse more, but will also see their partners reach orgasm more easily. Most women need prolonged stimulation in order to reach a state of complete arousal, and foreplay will provide them with the required stimulation.

No ultimate foreplay

There is no such thing as the ultimate foreplay, and it is not about pressing the right buttons in the right order. It is about understanding what makes your partner get hot and delivering the things that make her experience intense pleasure. All women are different. Some get off on being lightly kissed all over their necks while others enjoy direct oral stimulation.

There are many ways to give your partner extreme sensations, but one thing is for sure: It all begins in her brain. Simply tell her how beautiful she is and how much you appreciate her sexy body. By complimenting her appearance, especially if her confidence level is low, you are giving her added security and excitement, as well as giving her good reasons to go all out with the foreplay.

Set the mood

To learn the importance of foreplay you have to know how to set the mood. The next step is paying attention to romantic details. Creating the right environment for sexual intercourse can be crucial, especially at mature stages in the relationship. For example, make sure the room is warm, the lighting subdued, and the sheets clean. Once the mood is right, take the time to undress her because the act of removing your partner’s clothes can be an important part of foreplay. Many have found that undressing increases the eroticism, it stimulates and intensifies the feeling.

Often, women spend a lot of money on nice lingerie because it makes them feel sexy and they want it to stay on for a while. Instead of getting her completely naked, remove her bra strap, kiss her shoulder, then put it back on again. Do the same with her underwear, and, again; compliment how good she looks in it.

Kissing and foreplay

During foreplay, go as slow as you can. This will tease her. Begin by kissing and caressing her. A kiss is usually the first physical expression of desire but it is also often forgotten during sexual intercourse. During intercourse, you should kiss every part of your partner’s body and not be restricted to the mouth. Most women complain that their partners don’t kiss long enough and rush the movement directly to the genital area. Don’t be shy to experiment on every part of her body and remember to prolong the foreplay with more kissing and caressing.

A good time for learning

This article focused on the importance of foreplay as it is a learning experience. Foreplay is the perfect time to spend understanding what your partner likes because without that, you will never learn what she really needs to be fully stimulated. Don’t be shy; ask for feedback and also give your own. Both partners profit from good communication during foreplay and lovemaking. Also, without cutting the intensity of the moment, ask her what she really likes and what makes her go wild.

The time of her life

As a general rule, if she is satisfied with her sexual experience, she will usually make sure that you are satisfied as well. Good luck, and remember that only practice makes perfect. Don’t ever forget the importance of foreplay.

By David Strovny

A variety of vibrator styles, sizes, and materials can be both inspiring and a little daunting. Finding the perfect vibe may require some self-loving homework. Answering these few simple questions can help cut through the information overload and prevent buyer’s remorse.

What do you want to use it for?

Do you want to use it on your clitoris? Do you want to put it in your vagina or anus? Because just about anything that vibrates feels good on or around the clitoris, phallic shaped vibrators suitable for penetration can also be used outside the vagina if the vibration is strong at the tip. Do you want both the full feeling of penetration and that all-important clitoral buzz? Dual-action vibes mean never having to choose one feeling at the expense of the other.

If you intend to use a toy for anal insertion, make sure it has a flared base so that it doesn’t slip all the way in. While there are vibrating toys made especially for anal use, most are not, so its best to get one specifically designed for anal play, if that’s what you fancy.

How strong do you want your vibration to be?

If you have never used a vibrator before, this is a tough question to answer with certainty so prepare to experiment! If you masturbate with a firm rub on the clitoris rather than a light touch, you are more likely to appreciate a strong vibration. Pick a toy with a variable speed control so you can play around until you discover just what amount of vibration starts your motor. After some initial investigation, you’ll be ready to home in on your vibrating dream date.

How much do you want to spend?

Though the Silver Bullet is the least expensive vibrator we sell, its quite strong and very good-looking. Some people like to start with a few of the cheaper ones and test them out. But if the deluxe, spinning, fluttering dual-action Japanese vibrator is within your budget, and you have a sense that it will float your boat, by all means skip the preliminaries and go for it.

How big do you want it to be?

Discreet purse-size toys like a “pocket rocket” hold a lot of appeal for those on the go. But if your vibrator is never going far beyond your bedside drawer, size may not be a concern. If you plan to use the vibe for penetration, the girth of the toy may be just as crucial as the vibrating intensity. If you are not sure how much girth you want, go smaller rather than larger so you will know your new toy will fit. But remember, the vaginal wall was built to stretch!

The final criterion to use is your own aesthetic. Say you have whittled the choices down to two or three contenders, and considered all the available information. Now its time to cast rational thinking aside and pick the one that tickles that sexy part of your imagination. It may be the prettiest one, the kinkiest one, or the most comforting and familiar one. Desire and aesthetic are deeply personal and entwined; so pick the vibrator or vibrators that speak to you.

You take your new girlfriend out to a hot new restaurant for dinner, then to the bar for a couple cocktails. Conversation and libations are flowing – until you get home and into the bedroom. Suddenly, when it comes to doing the deed, Man’s Best Friend just won’t cooperate. Damn that last martini, you think to yourself; I should’ve had something much, um, stiffer.

Don’t panic! Erectile difficulty, the catch-all name for troubles with getting it up, happens at some point to almost every human being who owns a penis. If you’re one of those human beings – that is, a man – read on to find out why it’s so not the end of the world – or even the end of night.
The Lowdown

First things first: you get an erection when blood flows into your penis, making it thick and stiff. Now, erectile difficulty can be caused by physiological issues or psychological issues, or a combination of the two. Psychologist and sex therapist Dr. Lori Buckley, of Pasadena, California, says that ED can be the result of being a smoker, being overweight, having prostate problems or diabetes, or of other cardiovascular problems that limit blood flow in general. And yes, it can be caused by too much booze; while alcohol’s supposed to relax you, it sure can backfire! If you have consistent erectile difficulty, visit your doctor for a check-up to make sure that you’re healthy and that you’re eating a balanced diet.
Doing It

Of course, ED can be caused by nerves and performance anxiety, too. And if you let that anxiety affect your self-esteem, one limp situation, so to speak, can snowball into permanent insecurity. “Men have an emotional connection to their penises,” says Dr. Buckley. “They think women feel the same way, and fear rejection.” A fear of rejection is natural, but you’ll fear no more if you think of pleasure, not performance or penetration, as your goal. That’s the sure-fire way for both partners to end the night smiling. Here’s how:

Relax. As lots of women will tell you, “sex” does not necessarily mean “intercourse.” Focus on each moment of pleasure instead of thinking ahead to the end result. That way, when you do get hard, sex will be even better.

Remember, it’s okay if you lose your erection! “It’s not gone forever,” Dr. Buckley assures. “But what you do when you lose it makes a big difference. Instead of stressing out, focus on other things: spend some time arousing your partner; curl up for some cuddling or kissing; or just go watch a movie and try again later.
What about the magic pill?

Erection-sustaining prescription drugs, such as Viagra, Levitra, or Cialis, which are taken thirty minutes before intercourse and can last up to a couple of days, can be a good option, in Dr. Buckley’s opinion. “They can act as an insurance policy,” she points out. “They take the pressure off, because you know they’re there if you need them.” But she suggests trying drug-free solutions first, since relying on a pill unnecessarily won’t do your self-esteem any good. If you’re considering taking erection-sustaining medication, talk to your doctor about which drug is right for you.

Check out these resources for more information on ED:

The New Male Sexuality by Bernie Zilbergeld (New York: Bantam, 1999)
http://www.sexualhealth.com
http://www.webmd.com