Anal Sex Tips
Tip # 1: Overcoming Stigmas »
Many couples find even discussing anal sex to be uncomfortable, never mind their thoughts of how it might feel to actually do. Open communication is imperative to any healthy relationship, however. Remember that stigmas attached to anal sex come from a simple lack of knowledge; we often fear what we don’t know. A woman biggest fear may fear that anal intercourse will be painful. Whereas a man might worry that being penetrated will somehow make him less than masculine. Both these worries are normal, but not necessarily the case. Anal sex does not have to be painful if done properly. And men’s enjoyment of it not only doesn’t emasculate him, it indicates he is a broadly sexual being, capable of enjoying all sorts of pleasure. In truth, the anus is simply an erogenous zone like any other. By learning more about anal sex you and your partner can educate yourselves and broaden your sexual horizons.
The entry to the anus is the puckered circle of skin behind the vaginal opening on women, and behind the scrotum on men. The anal canal itself is only about one inch long, and leads to the rectum, which is approximately 8-9 inches long. The highest concentration of nerve endings is around the anal opening. You can use a finger or tongue to focus on these. For many, this is more than enough stimulation. However, when an object or penis is inserted beyond the anal opening into the rectum, other pleasurable sensations are experienced. The outer portion of the rectum, like the vagina, has several nerve endings. The inner portion responds mostly to pressure.
If you have never investigated your own potential for anal pleasure, a good way to start is on your own, rather than with a partner. You may wish to take a warm bath or shower. Clean the area well. Once you have done this, relax and take a moment to touch the area with a finger or two. Apply different types of pressure to your anus to discover where you feel sensation most. You may wish to insert a finger into your anus a small amount at a time. (Be sure you have proper lubrication to ensure an easy movement; you should never force anything into the anus.) Pay attention to your body’s instinctive reaction. Your sphincter may ‘clamp down and squeeze your finger. This is normal. Simply stop moving and concentrate on relaxing your sphincter. Practicing on your own will allow you to be more comfortable if you choose to try anal sex with your partner.
There are a few very important rules to follow to keep all anal play safe and healthy. First: be sure both you and your partner have cleaned thoroughly. This includes not only our bodies themselves, but any toys that may be incorporated into the anal sex experience. Always use enough lubrication to ensure easy entry into the anus. A general rule is that larger the object being inserted, the more lube you’ll need. Never under any circumstances place your penis or any toy that has been in an anus directly into a mouth, vagina, or anus. You must wash thoroughly to avoid any bacteria from traveling to these areas. A generally safe bet is to use a condom during anal sex. This makes for easier clean-up and, of course, decreases the chance of spreading STDs.
Popularly called ‘rimming, oral-anal sex involves orally stimulating the anus with the mouth and/or tongue. This can be highly pleasurable, particularly for those who are only comfortable with outer stimulation of this area. Because the tongue is softer than a finger, your partner may better enjoy the sensations of this kind of stimulation. Be sure, as always, that the area is clean before you begin. Oral-anal sex is most often practiced as part of oral sex. Couples can actually perform this kind of stimulation on each other in the ‘69 position as well. This is another way to share pleasure as well as a bonding experience between mates.
